Here is this 16 year old, sailing, by herself, on a trip of thousands of miles with only herself as crew (and the occasional sea birds) and I am having trouble deciding if I can get into a taxi and go to IKEA by myself!
Then I compare this to my 96 year old aunti ethel, my all-time hero, and all that she has done in her life, and I think "uff girl, get off the chair and get in the taxi".
One of the challenges I've had in living so far from home (and this doesn't have to be international, it's anywhere I think) is finding out about yourself and what makes you happy. I struggle some days with lonliness and boredom not because there isn't anything to do, it's that I sometimes have to do it by myself. My friends are busy with their lives, David is grading papers, and Anna is, well, she's a teenager with her own life. I know there are lots and lots and lots of people who live their lives by themselves and who find the strength to make trips alone. But this wasn't my MO before moving here. I like having people around me. Or rather, more honestly, I am fearful of doing things alone.
I know there are those of you reading this who will say, "What? She's always doing things by herself". But I never said I was a fan of it. Living here with different lifestyles, different rhythms and "different" people (oh I could tell you stories) has certainly forced me to become more introverted. Maybe "forced" isn't the right word. It's more like given me an opportunity to explore my inner strength instead of being so outwardly motivated. I think in fancy psych speak it's called "intrinsic" instead of "extroverted". Or something like that...I'll have to ask my resident favorite Psych teacher KKO when I return to the Land of Lakes in less than 30 days. (who's counting)
Anyway, in conclusion, I am going to celebrate the strength of Jessica Watson and Aunti Ethel today by getting in the cab by myself and going to the local IKEA. It may not be sailing around the world or living alone in my 90s, but it's a triumph for me. Small steps.
Here's to all of you who have the courage to live alone and enjoy it! I'm learning...I'm learning.
PS and I know it doesn't count because I have Anna and David living with me, but just take the "spirit" in which I wrote this. I could also be unnecessarily whining. Anything is possible in the desert!
1 comment:
hello! i just found your blog while searching for the kuwait textile association...hope you don't mind me commenting! i'm an american who transplanted to kuwait almost 3 years ago; my husband has been out here 2 years longer. i have an 8 year old son to keep me busy throughout the day but i know what it's like to have that "lonely" feeling. i typically spend most days at home but am just now starting to adventure out without the husband (well, not exactly alone since my son and a friend usually come along). i have to say, despite some of the "lovely" people in this country i have felt more comfortable venturing out here than i did back in the states. i still haven't made it to the avenues by myself since that mall is freakishly too big for me! :) kudos to you and i hope you got your IKEA fix!
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