Thursday, May 20, 2010

How to Arrive at KWI

I love the Kuwait International Airport (KWI) It's got more "LIFE" than any other terminal I've ever entered. And a part of this life is to arrive in the proper style. So, when you visit us in Q* (surely you are planning to do so right?!) I want you to be ready for the experience. Just so you are warned, I will greet you with a proper Kuwaiti-style greeting. Here is what you can expect.

1) First you have to clear customs: a process which could take anywhere from 5 minutes to 1.5 hours depending on how the paperwork is completed for group in front of you which could be the load of fresh looking Sri Lankan women who have arrived looking for a better life as a maid in this country.
2) Then you get to stand in another line where you have your passport and paperwork reviewed by a semi-bored Kuwaiti (man or woman) who will likely be engaged in conversation with another worker in the next booth and not really look at your passport. Unless you have a stamp from Occupied Palestine. (This is what we know in North America as Isreal) Then you won't even get into the country. Kuwait does not officially recognize I***** as even existing. No joke. If we ever plan to visit (which, to the censors reading this blog, we NEVER plan to do) onecannot have proof in your passport that you have visited. Next time you see me, ask me to tell you a story about that. That's all I can say right now.
3) After grabbing your luggage and fighting off the aggressive little Indonesian men in blue jumpers who desperately want to take you bag for tips...(that's not a racist comment, these men are working hard for a living..though sometimes too hard in my opinion), you will proceed for the last time through xray to make sure you haven't brought anything "harum" (bad,illegal, inappropriate) into the country. If you are caught, nothing happens to you. They just take it away (and probably sell it later, but I really don't know this for a fact) Remind me to tell you a story about that too. Not about me, I'm too chicken to try. Truly.
4) Then you finally you get to walk through the frosted glass doors which allow you access to the terminal. I will never forget the exhilaration (and fear) I felt as I entered through these doors for the first time in August 2008, with my little Indonesian man (I was new, I didn't know any better) and our 15 Bags in tow. Anna and David were up in the line getting visas--for almost 1.5 hours.
5) If you are really lucky, you will be greeted by 40 people (no exaggeration!) who will rush towards you as you pass through the gates. These people will likely be dressed in white dishtashas (men) and black abayas (women). There may be small children too, they will run at you the hardest.
6) With them, these people will have: a huge bag (or two) filled with candy and coins (think Halloween), two or three flower leis to place around your neck, possible "poppers" (torpedo-like things that shoot confetti and candy into the air), another big bag filled with real rose petals that they will throw at you. The women will send off a shrill tongue clicking sound.(The sound is very close to the one that Hispanic/Somali youths make at a soccer game. I can imitate this, ask me.)
7) You will receive kisses (men to men, women to women) in the proper greeting which is once on the left cheek, once on the right cheek and then once again on the left cheek (if you really love the person). If you are someone respected and an elder, you will get a kiss on the forehead. Children will be lifted high into the air.
8) All while this is happening, the people on the outside will be throwing the candy and rosepetals at you. And taking lots and lots of pictures and videos.
9) You must block all other traffic coming into the terminal. Nothing is as important as being greeting properly.
10) Also, you will stand in the middle of the exit (right smack in the middle is the best spot) for at least 10 minutes to make sure everyone has kissed you three times.
11) As you leave there will be another group of Indonesian men, (in different collor jump suits) who will be very busy cleaning up the candy, confetti and rosepetals. Occassionally children of other families waiting will rush out and grab the candy, but 95% of it just gets thrown away. Remember it's the thought that counts.
12) Then you will proceed as a group and stop at the end of the exit so that someone can take your group picture. Again, all other arriving passengers be damned. This is important.

I have witnessed this scene over and over again. It is delightful, emotional, sort of irrating (the arrogance and ignorance of other people trying to exit is a little much sometimes). But's it's definately Kuwait.

Actually, we did have a visitor yesterday, which is why I was at the airport. PRBecca came for the weekend. As I was waiting for her to come through, I saw the best example of a greeting I've ever witnessed, which I what inspired this blog. Halfway through the event, I wished I had arranged some students to do this for her.
FYI-Out of respect for the people who dress in full attire who really don't appreciate being photographed..and because I usually don't have my camera with me, I don't have any actual footage of the any of these greetings. However, when you visit, I'll pay someone to video the whole event. Can't wait to see YOU!

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